It’s no secret that we are living in uncertain times. Many people are feeling exhausted, anxious, stressed, angry, defeated.

Pausing, breathing, and letting the moment pass helps. Regular energetic hygiene helps.
 
But what if you could step into  a new state altogether—where you felt strong and certain even in the face of uncertainty, and no matter what was going on you were solid in yourself, your clarity, and your power?
 
You can. But it requires a conscious shift to heal that old, deep, sticky, repeating stuff once and for all and step into our superpowers even more, all while not allowing ourselves to get burned out and overwhelmed. That said, it’s not as hard as it sounds.
 
The most radical thing you can do
 
Energy mastery means stepping into the role of magician and fully understanding the alchemy of energy, how it works within you and around you. It means knowing that as you tend deeply within yourself to bring full-on you to life you catalyze big change around you. When you are solid and strong on the inside, the outside becomes less trying and tumultuous. When you are solid and certain about your own capabilities, you are more accurate in your thinking, your intuition, your connection to others and to all that is. Like the magician, you absolutely own how and where you direct energy.
 
Take a moment and envision what it would be like if you could.

• Direct how the energy and emotions of other people impact your day-to-day interactions and overall well-being.
• Tune in to the subtle energy systems within you and around you and shift, enhance, or dissipate them.
• Own and hone your intuition, discernment, and sensory perception.
• Know how to move and direct energy to better serve yourself and others.
• Think and problem solve outside the fray of emotions and divisiveness.

 
It’s radical because we are taught to do exactly the opposite. It’s radical because it allows you to operate outside the systems and frameworks that are not working. As such, it’s exactly what’s needed to create new ways of living and leading.
 
The 4 keys to mastering your energy

1. Tend to your shadows: You cannot master your energy until you have faced your shadows. Your shadows are deeper, hidden parts of you that can unconsciously suck your energy and keep you from being full on you. Shadow is anywhere you are giving away your power out of a woundedness, out of I am not enough-ness, out of “they” are to blame for everything, out of emotional reactivity rather than emotional discernment, out of self-sabotaging habits, out of “I’ll ignore my intuition and do what they say”…you get the idea. When these elements drive, YOU are not at the helm. The crazy thing is that the golden keys to your true power lie buried in your shadow. When you understand this and allow yourself to look, your entire reality shifts.

 

1. Take radical responsibility: You are responsible for at least 50 percent of every relationship, conversation, or interaction. Most people don’t take responsibility for even part of their half. We want people to “show up” in specific ways for us—yet we don’t do the same for others. Conversely, especially if we are sensitive, we take on emotions and energy that aren’t ours. Neither is responsible or helps others, and it certainly doesn’t help you. When you choose radical responsibility, everything shifts and you cultivate a state where these things become a non-issue.

 

1. Make connection to Source your default: You are—we all are--a creation of the divine/the universe/Source consciousness. No more, no less. How often do you remember this and intentionally work with divine energy? Your answer to that question has a direct relationship to how the divine/universe connects and works with you. A lot of us make intentional connections but do it sporadically or just at certain times—in ritual or when times get rough.  Energy mastering helps you cultivate a continuous embodiment that uplifts your heart and mind, and serves the highest good. You stay plugged in to the power of Source more often than not, opening portals to your own divine genius

 

1. Hone your awareness and intention: Your awareness is your container for reality. Read that again. Honing your awareness and intention puts you in the driver’s seat. You are the magician that awakens and directs your empathic superpowers, your sensory perception, your energy mastery. The world throws chaotic waves at all of us. How you hold yourself, where you place and hone your focus has a radical impact on what you experience and your own potency in the world. It’s your choice to own it or not.

 
You are more powerful than you know
 
Practicing these keys helps you unhook from beliefs and frameworks that confine, inhibit, block, and shame. You see that you are way more powerful that you’ve been led to believe and that you have access to resources you may not have realized before. Energy mastery puts you in a different operating paradigm –where the focus moves from healing, clearing, trying to keep afloat to totally owning the multi-dimensionality of all that you are. Operating outside of the old frameworks, you become a potent force for real, positive change. Change that truly takes yourself and others to the next level.
 
Unprecedented times require unprecedented action
 
If we are present to energy, we know that at any given moment of time everything is shifting. Change really is the only constant. But in times of unprecedented change, things happen fast, everything is amplified by the global media, and the untended shadows within all of us rear their heads. We cannot just do what we’ve always done. Chakra balancing and the like are important, but for those of us who are called, these are the times to throw down and truly master our energy.
 
Learn about the Master Your Energy program here or contact Susan directly to learn more.

 
We live in strange times, where memes and announcements about love and loving, how people “should” love themselves and practice loving-kindness to others, are interspersed with venom and vitriol about, well, everything. Why is there this dichotomy? Perhaps it’s due to our attachment to what we think love should be.

The idea of love can mean different things to different people. The idea of love can be fueled by personal whims or fantasies, even feeling unfulfilled within oneself. We want love and to be loved, but often form unconscious conditions or what I call “perfect pictures” of how we should experience it. And so we write, read and post things about love, about how it should be, how it should feel. But then get upset or disenchanted when what we think love is or should be doesn’t show up as we imagined. Our attachment to the idea of love fuels expectations that many times aren’t real or possible — and then we feel angry, hurt, unloved. Often real love is right there, but we miss it entirely because it doesn’t look like what we think it should.

This is true for all kinds of relationships — romantic, familial, friendships, community.

And so, what can we do?Listen and take in. Listen to what Love really is. And even if we think we know, we can always learn more, hear more, witness more, be more in love. Listening is key. Stepping outside of ourselves and really listening to the other person, not our own narrative while the other person talks. Looking directly at a person and seeing what is, right here, right now. Not judging it or comparing it to anything or anyone. Not checking out because another’s words are uncomfortable. Not preparing our response while our counterpart is speaking, not revving up a “smart” comeback to perpetuate an illusion that we always have the answer, that we know more, better, best. I am, you are, we are more than that. Love is more than that. Love is. Opening and present-timing and understanding truly that in the context of our close relationships, no one has to be wrong. What if no one had to be wrong?

Everything would change. Everything would change because when Love Is, every single person has a right to their own ideas, experiences and feelings. When Love Is we are interested in what others have to say or share, even if we personally don’t understand it or appreciate it in the same way. In allowing people to simply be, in allowing ourselves to be present, we can all learn something, see what’s deeper and behind, ask meaningful questions and create greater opportunities for connection, affinity and evolution.

When Love Is, Love Knows the pendulum will swing back upwards if we let it. And that when we can curiously explore the shadows in Love, the resistance, the fear and anxiety in each other, with each other, deeper connection and heart wisdom will always be the outcome. Real love knows that always assuming the worst makes everything hurt more. That turning towards, not away, always brings better outcomes. That seeing the best in others encourages more of it. That in general, people are more open and willing than we sometimes think. If we are present we can see that, even in the midst of a storm.

More open, more willing, more in the heart. Even more. Because Love is Presence. We think it is scary to open our hearts, but it is incredibly uncomfortable to live with a heart closed in fear of the worst that “could” happen. It means we actually aren’t living in the here and now — we are living in the worst of what could be. In opening we take risk yes, but in risk there is expansion, growth and the possibility of greater affinity with another and with ourselves.

Love can create spaces where speaking from and through vulnerabilities is encouraged, is safe, is witnessed as a strength. What if we took time to really hear what another had to said without projecting our own stories and pain onto their words. What if we could give up our need to control the narrative and listen to the truth. We if we could listen, really listen--and understand that another person's reality and experience doesn't have to be like our own for us to love them. What if we could listen, really listen and consider another's point of view or ease another's fears instead of making them wrong, intead of shaming them? What if we worked on letting go of the pain in us that sparks this need for posturing, righteousness, and wrong-making of others? These things never help anything. Ever. Ever. What if we focused on simply listening, being present, objective witnessing in the moment. Giving space for the other person to speak their truth: Without feedback, automatic defensiveness, fear of judgement or of rejection.

My humble opinion is that if we want this in our relationships, we have to make the first move. We can want and hope that the other person will show up and be present first, but only in taking action ourselves can we actually set the stage, activate it, evolve it. Evolving to presence, and to love.

Ever, ever returning to love. Being in presence to love — especially in ourselves. Softening instead of judging, being gentle and inquisitive, asking, listening and listening more as if all that matters is right there, in the now. This kind of presence is powerful and courageous, and in our current world, feels unusual, even radical — yet it is the essence of real love. For when we are present, we aren’t so attached — to ego, to emotion, to judgement. And it makes things like opening to joy, feeling empathy, having understanding, taking responsibility, making amends, elevating the vibration of the situation, easier.

And so the common habit of waiting, holding back, wanting the other person to speak love first, apologize first, fix it first can come to an end. Someone has to start the opening, and if it’s you, it says even more than the words that fall from your lips. Love knows this.

And speak about what you need to feel loved. We can’t expect people, even those dear to us, to know exactly what we want and need at all times. We have to tell them, work with them, be present. Again and again. Because in helping each other we automatically create more love.

Love doesn’t need to judge, or criticize or direct. Thank about it. No one ever became happier or brighter or more in love by being labeled, blamed, yelled at, stonewalled or ignored. Even “constructive criticism” implies that one person’s view of things is right and the other is wrong. What is our need to make others wrong? What if we are all simply doing our best, and sometimes making mistakes along the way?

What if instead of criticizing we turned to mentoring, modeling, suggesting, asking questions, sharing experiences? If someone does something disruptive or hurtful to our feelings, calmly ask them why. You will get more information than by yelling at them or telling them what they “should” have done. What if instead of lashing out, we paused, and simply shared and inquired with the intention of greater understanding, of greater affinity? And what if we were bold enough tell others what we wanted and needed? It’s an approach that’s been proven to actually work better than judging others for not showing up as we want. And, yes, holding your tongue until you can speak with more neutrality always yields better results … always.

It is primal to want to feel that someone has your back. What if it were ok to admit that? To admit that sometimes it gets scary thinking about losing another, or being alone, and that sometimes it is easier to feel love for ourselves when other people tell us, show us, remind us that we are lovable.

When people feel insecure or scared or lonely, that’s really what they need. When people try and control scenarios and outcomes, that's what they really need. When people lash out, that’s really what they need. A reminder that they are loved.  I know we have a lot of people right now feeling scared, lonely, uncertain, emotionally sensitive. They don’t need our wrath or alienation. They need the opposite — presence, seeing, listening, understanding, love. We as a culture are not really good at any of that. But we can learn--learn from and teach one another how to care and love all in. Because we all need help in this.

My humble opinion is that we need to be more gentle and honest about that fact that we all have felt unloved or even totally unlovable at certain times in their lives. And so, we can use that to be more present and in Love for other people. We can look and feel into other people and ask how might they feel in certain situations or if certain events were happening to them. Anxiety, insecurity, fear? Crazy joy? Tears of relief or of grief. These are not things to shame others for or be ashamed of.  Love’s presence sees the value and beauty of it all. Love outreaching in kindness, in deeds and words that are transparent and from the heart, manifests even more Love.

Love and remember that no one really knows what they are doing. Our expectations for people to be perfect and show up exactly as we think they should diminishes the truth and fullness of who they are and the truth and fullness of you. Love sees all of this and holds it and can transform it if we allow it. Love grows in honor, honesty, transparency, integrity, kindness and forgiveness. These things are needed now more than ever.

Inside, we are all tiny children. Inside, we all need more love. Keep that in mind when speaking to others and especially to your dear self. And keep that in mind when listening. If you allow it you can always hear and sense so much more.

Trust that even a bit of love is enough to create a miracle. Trust that right here, right now, in this moment you are pure love, and you are enough.

Most people don’t pay attention to their energetic system. But by using conscious focus we can tune in, gain access and take steps to make it more balanced and vital. Energy imbalances can result from long-running issues as well as one-time events, from factors both internal and external including — things like:

• Challenging life events divorce, breakup, death of a loved on, loss of job
• Traumatic events including abuse, victim of a crime, witnessing something disturbing
• Limiting beliefs and internalized “rules”
• Confusion, depression, grief
• Stress and anxiety
• Substance abuse and addiction
• Cultural, societal or childhood programming
• Existential fears, habitual negative mind chatter
• Feeling stuck in situations that are not in alignment with our purpose
• Lack of exercise or poor nutrition
• Toxic workplace dynamics
• Posture or breathing issues
• Environmental and atmospheric conditions
  
  

Quantum physics has proven that we are all made up of energy, as is everything around us. It is the most basic building block of life, but like the air we breathe or the feelings we feel most people can’t see it.

Energy flows through and creates everything. Even our thoughts and emotions are energy. It is just a difference in the vibrational frequency of energy that gives us impressions of distinct substance and separation, rather like water moving from solid ice at slower vibration, to liquid and fluidity and then to steam at higher vibrations. All forms are useful, needed and valid and all derive from the same energetic essence. Some people are born very sensitive to energy and can see and sense it through psychical faculties.

As children we are taught (and also just pick up information that feed our) beliefs and stories about ourselves and the world around us. Genetic, social, gender and cultural aspects will contribute to this programming. Over the years these pictures and programs we collect will govern the way we use our energy. Stories and beliefs build on these pictures that are usually not accurate or helpful — and we hold the information not just in our minds, but in our physical bodies and our subtle energy systems. The pictures or programs will remain there until we start to realize that we create our experiences with the beliefs we hold — good and bad.

The Power of Tuning In and Taking Responsibility
The idea of being responsible for our feelings and energetic state is a hard pill for some people to swallow — especially in a culture that promotes and thrives on judgement and blaming. However, once we can take ownership that we do indeed have some — even a modicum — of control over how we feel, perceive and navigate the world we set ourselves up for greater freedom and personal power.

Beyond mental, emotional and spiritual well-being, energy healing can have a profound effect on how you feel physically — even support the health and functionality of your physical body. You see, the energy systems of the body are connected energetically to our physical organs, glands, blood flow and other systems.

When the energy supplied to these body systems is disrupted — say through stress, anxiety, addiction — the body organs and systems are less able to defend against disease and injury. Energy healing work can be a wonderful addition to an person’s overall practice of self-care, and can even support the wellness of people undergoing care or treatment by a medical professional.

If our energy systems are stressed we are less able to cope, we feel overwhelm which in turn has a negative impact on our physical systems. Over a prolonged period this leads to ill health, sometimes on multiple levels. If our energy systems are clear and balanced we will be in a better position to deal with situations and circumstances that might otherwise be perceived as a stress.

Everyone’s perception of energy differs . You can learn to increase their ability to perceive energy so that you can take steps to activate, balance and shift what they need as they need it. Honoring your own intuition on these things is a simple way to start.


This article first appeared in Medium, 2016.